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"People and Other Aggravations"  "Natasha Fatale" [General Mills Lucky Charms' Gal] There are laugh lines on my face but I'm not laughing I start yawning if I'm out much after twelve. The latest dances give me lower back pain And what's sitting on the shelves of my medicine chest I won't even discuss. The parts of me that proudly pointed upward Are slowly taking on a downward droop. I'm puffing when I reach the second landing And I know group health rates better than I know everything I wanted to know about sex. My shoulder's getting stiffer with each season. The small print's getting blurrier each week. The systems which I counted on forever Are surendering to creaks, leaks, blockages, and never mind what else. The woman in my head is young and perfect. The real one has to buy supportive hose. So I'm waiting for serenity and wisdom, Which I'm assured are supposed to make me feel much better about this whole thing.  Anti-HeroineI'd planned to be Heathcliff's Cathy, Lady Brett Nicole or Dominique or Scarlett O'Hara. I hadn't planned to be folding up the laundry In uncombed hair and last night's smudged mascara. An expert on buying Fritos, cleaning the cat box, Finding lost sneakers, playing hide-and-seek, And other things unknown to Heathcliff's Cathy, Scarlett, Lady Brett, and Dominique. I saw myself as heedless, heartless, headstrong. An untamed woman searching for her mate. And there he is -- with charcoal, fork and apron, Prepared to broil some hot dogs on the grate. I haven't wrecked his life or his digestion With unrequited love or jealous wrath. He Doesn't know that secretly I'm Scarlett, Dominique, Nicole, or Brett or Cathy. Why am I never cracking up in Zurich? Why am I never languishing on moors? Whyh am I never spoiled by faithful mammys Instead of spraying ant spray on the floors? The tricycles are cluttering my foyer. The pop tart crumbs are sprinkled on my soul. And every year it's harder to be Cathy, Dominique, Brett, Scarlett and Nicole.    |
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